I am Yours (An Alpha Male BDSM Romance) Read online

  So I dived right in. “Are you free on Friday? Around 7?”

  He instantly replied. “Yes. Good.”

  Great. A big dumb smile found its way onto my face, and it widened as I read his next message.

  “Somehow, I am more excited than I wanted to be…”

  “Do you know the police substation at the east exit of Shinjuku station?” I asked. “It’s a pretty good meeting point.”

  “Yes, I do.”

  Of course he did. Everybody in Tokyo knew that spot. The exit lead directly toward Kabukicho, probably the most exciting and most sinful area of Tokyo, a district plastered with bars, restaurants, and karaoke places. And the infamous love hotels and locations that offered more than food and drinks.

  “This is going to be a long week,” he added. “Do you mind if I ask for another picture? PG is ok.”

  By this point, I already found myself unable to say no to him.

  “Sure… hold on.”

  “You can send me anything, whatever you send me I’ll send you one slightly more exposed than yours,” he typed. That sounded promising.

  “I look a bit high there,” I commented as I send him another picture. I had been drunk when I took it. It was a rather intimate selfie, but not showing much more than my face.

  He liked it.

  “You look amazing! Friday can’t come soon enough. If you have any free time before Friday, let me know. Even if it just involves a quick Irish coffee. I would love to meet you.” He kept piling on.

  “I am actually pretty packed with work-related stuff the next two days and already have plans on Thursday, so Friday really is the next chance. Pretty tough week ahead of me. I’ll be in the mood for drinks on Friday!”

  And I didn’t want to risk being sleep deprived or hungover at the embassy. I was still to new and too inexperienced for risks like that.

  “That’s okay, I will look forward to it. I just want to see as much of you as possible.”

  “Sorry, I don’t have a full-body picture,” I replied. “Just some of my boobs…”

  What the hell? Shut up!

  Of course he asked. “Would you make my night amazing by sharing?”

  “No, not today. Always leave them wanting more, right?”

  “My face hurts from smiling. I might have to punish you for being such a tease!”

  Okay. Good save. What the hell was I thinking? Why was I talking about sending him pictures of my boobs? I had never done that with strangers! But the thought excited me.

  I should change the subject. Talk about normal stuff.

  “Where are you from? US?”

  “Yes. You?”

  “I want to let you guess when we meet!”

  “All right then.”

  He sent me another picture. “A picture for the one you gave me.”

  It was a full frontal nude picture again. Only this time it was taken from farther away so I could see a little bit of his cock. His hands were reaching down, holding what I would love to see. His well-sculpted body looked incredibly hot. And he was wet in this one. It was killing me.

  “Thank you,” I typed. “Now my week is going to be very long too.”

  “Can I ask what you like in bed? To do and to have done?” he asked.

  Right back to business. I smiled.

  “I mean… since you know a bit about me now,” he added.

  He was right, that seemed only fair.

  “I like it when a guy takes control…”

  I stopped typing. Long enough for him to become inpatient.

  “Yes?”

  “And I like it rough.”

  “How rough?” he wanted to know.

  “Rougher than most guys are willing to give me,” was my blunt and honest answer.

  “Well, tonight… is going to be—for lack of a better word—hard,” he said.

  I couldn’t think of anything better than a smiley to reply to that.

  “You are too cute,” he said. “The things you say are driving me crazy. I want to know more.”

  “What?” I asked. “That I like to be pleased? And to be controlled?”

  “Yes…”

  I smiled. It appeared that I was pleasing him already, just by being honest about what I liked. And it felt extremely satisfiying.

  As if he wanted to reward me, he sent another picture of his nude upper body. But this time I could see his face, too. It really was him. He had that same confident smile; it was a bit devious, as if he knew something he wouldn’t tell. Somewhat mysterious. He looked more and more handsome and buff with every picture. And tall. He seemed to be incredibly tall.

  “What do you like to call the guys who are dominating you?”

  “Um, I don’t know? I have never been dominated.”

  “It’s easy, all you are allowed to say is Yes Sir, Thank You and Please. Do you understand?”

  “Okay, I think I can do that.”

  For a moment, he remained silent. I smirked as I realized why.

  “Yes, sir.”

  I could literally feel my heart jump as I wrote it, thinking of how it would feel to actually say them while looking up to him. The thought excited me. And it got worse when he replied.

  “Good girl.”

  4

  It was getting late, close to one a.m. I should have been getting to bed, I knew that. This week was going to be a hard and long one.

  The problem was, I did not feel tired at all. My heart was racing, cheeks flush, and I could feel the impact of what he was writing between my legs. Whatever he was trying to do, it worked. Very well.

  “I must cum on your pictures… you know this right?”

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “Exactly what I said.”

  Okay. The thought of a stranger jerking off on a picture of my face was weird, to say the least.

  But also strangely flattering.

  Again there was a moment where neither of us was saying anything. The perfect chance to say good night and catch some sleep…

  “God, you turn me on.”

  Or not. My cheeks were blushing again. Why would he say these things? I was having a hard time believing his excitement. And then his next message reminded me of how much words can actually achieve.

  “I want to see you offer your body like an obedient girl and have it spread by both my cock and tongue until I’m satisfied.”

  Jeez. My heart was jumping.

  “Do you think you can handle that?” he asked.

  My hands were back on the keyboard within a second. “Yes.”

  “Yes what?”

  “Sir. Yes, sir.”

  “You will have to remember that,” he warned. “I want to sink my teeth and tongue into you, while holding you tightly and in place.”

  I could actually feel my cheeks turning red. And my ears. Slightly bemused I touched my left ear, only to find it glowing with heat.

  “This is going to be a long week…”

  “For me, too. My cock hurts from how hard it is.”

  Well, I could imagine that must be more unpleasant than what I was going through.

  “What if I tell my beautiful obedient girl to suck my cock in public?” he asked. “What if I wanted to feel the back of your throat while we were outside walking somewhere?”

  “Like where?” I asked back like a dumb little kid.

  “You know… dark alley, empty stairwells, parks.”

  Of course, what else could he be talking about?

  “Bar, izakaya, anywhere dark, really. Does that scare you?” he wanted to know.

  “A little.”

  “Sexy…”

  “I don’t want to get arrested in Japan.”

  “Me neither,” he replied. “But the thought excites me.”

  It was almost one-thirty by now. Just as I wanted to type my good night, the next message popped up.

  “If you’re willing to swallow, I might want to fill your mouth with cum once for every hour you spend with me.”


  Oh.

  “No matter where we are,” he added.

  Before I could reply, he took the reins again.

  “I am going to call it a night, love.”

  Thank God, a part of me thought, while the other part lamented the fact that there was an urge to hear more. I should be ready to go to sleep.

  “Okay. Sleep well.”

  5

  The following morning was characterized by a lot of regrets. Staying up too late. Allowing a total stranger to keep me up by asking intimate questions and telling me just as intimate things about himself. Sending said stranger pictures of my face that he used to jerk off on—if what he said was true. Feeding this man’s fantasy. Making promises. It all felt unreal in sober daylight.

  And the first thing I did when I got to the office was to turn on Skype on my computer—which I hardly ever did at work—and send him a message.

  “So, how was your night?”

  Luckily, it did not take long for him to reply.

  “Better than expected,” he said. “But not as good as Friday will be.”

  My coworker Steph came in and startled me with her sudden appearance. I hastily closed the chat window.

  We exchanged a few pleasantries and she also reminded me that we would have to discuss some arrangements for a spring reception that was still weeks away. It was one of my less exciting duties to manage mundane parties and receptions like these, even though event managing was certainly not my strong point.

  When I looked back at my screen, there was a new message from him.

  “Our little chat put a smile on my face that I carry even now.”

  “That is sweet.”

  I glanced at Steph, who was starting her computer and would probably prepare some tea for herself within the next five minutes.

  “I think I will actually get more work done just doing everything I can to stop thinking about you,” he wrote. That reminded me that I had no idea what he was doing for a living.

  “What kind of work would that be?” I asked.

  “You don’t need to know,” he replied.

  “But I want to know.”

  “Bratty girl,” he wrote, distracting me once again. “My mouth waters when I think about you.”

  “Hope you still feel that way when you see me on Friday.”

  “You don’t have to worry about that. You look great, but looks aside, it’s your character that really turns me on.”

  “Character, huh? Never had a bad experience with online dates?” I asked.

  “My instincts are usually right,” he simply replied.

  So were mine. Thus far I had been lucky enough to only find men on these dating apps who were decent. I never ended up in truly bad or dangerous situations. And for some reason, I was quite certain that I would be in good hands with this guy.

  “You ready?” Steph asked, interrupting my thoughts.

  “Yes, right, sure.”

  I shut down my messenger just in case and grabbed my coffee mug and a pen.

  Steph smiled at me as I hurried to get away from my computer.

  “It won’t take long,” she promised as we left the room, and I hoped she was right.

  I liked my job, I really did, but things like these events were certainly not what excited me most. I worked for the political department and had far more interesting duties that included doing research, and advising and preparing talks between important people. Thinking about drink arrangements and event schedules was easier, but tedious. I was also in charge of writing our ambassador’s welcome speech, though. That put a surprisingly large amount of responsibility on my shoulders.

  Steph and I spent more time than expected in our little meeting room and grabbed some lunch afterward. More than two hours had passed when I returned to my office.

  I started the messenger as soon as I got back to my seat, and a new message popped up.

  “Tell me about some things that have happened to you that you really enjoyed.”

  I leaned back, sipped at my coffee, wondering what he was talking about.

  “You want to hear about my experiences with other men?” I asked.

  I didn’t have to wait long for a reply.

  “Yes,” he wrote within seconds. “It turns me on.”

  So, what now? I felt like there wasn’t much I could tell him. The flings I had since my breakup were nothing special. The most creative sex had been on a few occasions during my relationship, but I didn’t feel like talking about that. It was too intimate.

  Instead, I decided to keep it vague.

  “Well,” I started. “There was one guy who used a lot of toys…”

  That guy would be my ex-boyfriend.

  “What kind of toys?” he asked.

  “Nothing out of the ordinary…”

  “Tell me,” he insisted.

  “An anal plug, a dildo, a cockring… you know, things like that.”

  Writing about anal plugs in my office felt anything but right. For a second I wondered if and to what extent my computer might be monitored. What if our IT guy could see everything I did on here? A cold shiver ran down my spine.

  “What was your favorite?” he wanted to know.

  “Hard to say,” I wrote and hesitated for a moment, glancing over to Steph, who was paying zero attention to me. Good.

  “Well… I like double penetration… so…” I carefully typed.

  “Yes?”

  “I sure liked the anal plug.”

  “While he fucked you?”

  “Yes. And the cock ring,” I added. “It was vibrating. Drove me crazy.”

  “Do you like to wear collars?”

  “Sure,” I replied, without knowing what exactly he was talking about. I would find out soon enough.

  For a few moments, neither of us wrote anything. Just when I considered going back to work, another message popped up.

  “I’d like to give you some firsts, if you let me,” he wrote. “I have a feeling that there is a lot you want to try.”

  There was. Absolutely. But I didn’t want to agree with him too fast, so I just opted for a blushing smiley that left room for interpretation.

  Apparently, that just led him on even more.

  “You have to get accustomed to my cock,” he wrote. “Every inch of it and how it feels in every hole… ”

  My heart was racing. I had a feeling it wouldn’t get a chance to calm down as long as I left my messenger running. When I looked back at my screen, the minimized window was blinking in bright orange, which meant he had written more.

  “…so you don’t forget who you belong to.”

  I stared at the screen. What on earth had I gotten myself into?

  “Do you understand?” he asked.

  “Yes, sure,” I replied.

  “What do I want you to answer when I ask you if you understand?”

  “Yes, sir,” I dutifully replied. “I’m sorry.”

  “You’ll learn,” he said. “If you are not comfortable with anything I say or ask you, let me know or tell me what you prefer, okay?”

  “Yes, sir. It’s all been fine.”

  “Good girl. Everyone likes to be dominated in a different way, if we trust one another we will have endless fun.”

  6

  I eventually told him that I had to get back to work und closed my messenger for good, even though it took a lot of effort.

  I was never good at distracting myself with work. On the contrary, my work got sloppy and uninspired. When I left the office that Tuesday evening, my desk was crammed with notes and a pile of unfinished work.

  It was six p.m. when I left the office. Not unusually late; I hardly ever got home earlier than that. I usually got myself a bento box or some sushi that was on sale from lunch time, and sometimes a beer as well. I would eat that while watching some random sitcom episode, wait for a while, and then go for a late-night run and sleep. Simple as that. This had been my life for the past few weeks.

  Another message popped up the momen
t I started my laptop at home.

  “You get me way too excited. When I meet you, I don’t know how much I can hold back… I might walk up to you grab a fistful of your hair, tilt your head back, and kiss you. Just so you know off the bat who you belong to.”

  Damn.

  “Without causing a scene,” he added, as if he knew my instant concern. It did put a smile on my face and made me blush with excitement.

  “But I will still insist on having a drink first. I don’t want to miss out on that part of the dance,” I wrote.

  “I don’t plan on missing out on it. It gives me time to savor the meal to come. Would you submit to someone as dominant as me right then and there before speaking?” he asked.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Will you submit to a man who plans to take over you and your body? Would you give in? Not many would allow someone to take control off the start with a kiss.”

  “We will have to see.”

  Yes, we would. And I was just as curious as him.

  “Are your cheeks blushing right now?” he asked.

  They were; I could feel it. I nodded and then realized that he wasn’t sitting in front of me to see it.

  “Yes,” I typed.

  “I am a wolf. I can feel it when you are turned on.”

  “Even from afar, huh?” I teased.

  “Even from afar,” he said. “I don’t want to show you mercy. I want you to obey and come for me until you pass out,” he wrote next.

  And all I could reply was, “Yes, sir.”

  “Good girl. I will taste every inch of you, both inside and out.”

  7

  He stood in front of me, wearing a dark suit that matched his dark hair and eyes, not saying a single word. He just looked at me, then slowly approached, reaching out for me. His hands rested on my hips for a moment before he pulled me close, very close. Then he was grabbing the back of my head, pulling me in for a kiss. The kiss. Our first. It was insistent and weirdly familiar.

  There was nothing surrounding us but hollow darkness; not a sound was to be heard except for our heavy breathing when the kiss stopped.

  “There is so much I want to do to you,” he finally whispered, now caressing my skin with the tips of his fingers. He started on my face, slowly moving down to my neck.

  “This will be mine,” he commented as he reached for my breasts, greedily cupping them with both hands. “You will be mine. All of you.”