I am Yours (An Alpha Male BDSM Romance) Read online

  I shook my head in protest, trying to keep my mouth closed as my pulse began racing to new heights. My entire body was on edge. I realized I had been pressing my legs together, subtly moving on my chair as if I was grinding on it.

  Of course he noticed. He noticed everything. And he acknowledged it with a pleased smile.

  Our drinks came and I sighed in relief. While the waitress was exchanging our glasses, he did not take his eyes off me, not even when he thanked her—which he did in Japanese. He probably spoke the language to some degree.

  “You won’t have to pretend with me,” he said. “Be honest and open about everything you are. I am welcoming every bit.”

  He looked down for a second to find his drink. His eyes were right back on me as soon as he found it and took a sip.

  “If you let me, I will worship and devour every part of your beautiful little body,” he added afterward. “I will show you what an extraordinary beauty you are.”

  I gasped and got ahold of my drink.

  “But,” he started again. “You may be my princess out here, in public. When we are out and about, surrounded by normal life, I will do nothing but treasure and spoil you, like you deserve. But when we are alone…”

  He paused for a second. Our gazes were glued to each other as he leaned forward, slowly raising his right hand to touch my chin, holding it between his thumb and his index finger.

  “When we are alone,” he whispered. “You will be my little slut, my pleasure toy. You will do as I please, surrender to my will, and obey. Obey and receive nothing but pleasure. Do you understand?”

  I stared at him, breathing heavily. I tried to nod, but he pinched my chin.

  “I asked, ‘Do you understand?’” he repeated angrily. “What do you say?”

  “Yes, sir,” I breathed.

  He let go of my chin and I let out a heavy sigh. My heart was racing as if I had just run a marathon. With a shaking hand I went for my drink again, only sipping a tiny bit of it this time.

  “Have some water,” he suggested when I put my glass down.

  “No, thanks, I’m f—”

  “Have some water!” he repeated. This time it was not a suggestion but an order, so I complied and took a sip of the free water they had placed on our table when we arrived.

  “Good girl,” he commented. “I need you in good health.”

  I smiled at him.

  “Are you enjoying this?” he asked.

  I nodded. “Yes, sir.”

  “Do you think you could enjoy being my little slut? Doing everything I ask you to do? Completely obey me? Experience nothing but pleasure with me?”

  My pulse had just calmed down, but now it was right back at its peak. His voice was so steady, so calm and self-assured.

  All I wanted was to be somewhere alone with him and finally get to play. To be fucked senseless.

  “Yes,” I whispered. “Yes, sir.”

  I felt as if my heart was trying to crawl out of my chest, heavily beating against its prison, the ribcage. There was no way I could control my breath any longer. Trying to calm myself down only led to vertigo.

  “Excuse me for a moment,” I said. He looked up at me as I left the table. Not worried, but amused.

  I headed for the bathroom and started to hyperventilate as soon as I had locked the door behind me. My breathing was completely out of control. I gasped for air as if I were drowning, feeling more and more dizzy with every breath I took.

  “Holy fuck,” I gasped, staggering to the sink. This had never happened to me before. I was so pathetically aroused and excited. And he hadn’t even touched me yet.

  I checked myself in the mirror. My mouth was slightly open, sure enough. I was still breathing heavily, but managed to find my center, breath by breath. My cheeks were fiery red. Was I drunk? That couldn’t be. I touched my left cheek. It was burning hot.

  “Calm the fuck down,” I told my reflection and splashed some cold water on my face, careful not to ruin my makeup.

  I let some more cold water run down on my hands and wrists while I forced myself to find my composure.

  It worked. One last check in the mirror and I hurried out, because I didn’t want him to start worrying.

  He didn’t worry though. He was waiting outside the bathroom door, holding my bag and my jacket.

  “We’re leaving now,” he announced while pulling me close to him and blessing me with another kiss, making my efforts from before pointless.

  The perfect gentleman, he helped me put on my jacket and tenderly fixed my scarf, before we finally left the izakaya.

  “Now, take my hand and stay close to me.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Part 2

  Becoming Yours

  Green and blue colors lit the room. I was lying on the big bed, buried in mostly clean white sheets, completely naked except for the light robe that came with the room. It seemed impossible to get some sleep.

  Freshly bathed, my skin smelled of bath soap, which under ordinary circumstances would have been too strong for my personal taste. My hair was a mess with wet ends from sweating and bathing. It was frizzed so badly I doubted I would be able to bring it back in order with just a simple hair brush. Had I worn lipstick, it would be spread all over my face and the white bedsheets, just like my once carefully applied eye makeup. My thick, black eyeliner usually lasted for a day even with rain and workouts involved, but now it was badly smeared, running down my cheeks on both sides.

  I was on my back, hugging the sheets as if to protect myself, staring at the ceiling with my mouth half-opened. The room was completely silent since he had left a few minutes ago. I was alone and thought it hard to believe what had just happened to me.

  There was a smile deep inside myself, a broad grin even, which had not found its way to my face yet. I was torn between satisfaction, happiness, disbelief, and fright.

  My entire body was sore. He had hurt me, but just a little bit. I could tell that he had to hold back and restrain himself. His bites had been careful and so were his thrusts, as well as the spanking. I expected to have no marks on my skin, which was a little disappointing.

  We had spent six wonderful, outrageous hours together. And within these hours the wolf had introduced to me to a new world.

  That night, he had put me in the constant state of wanting more. I was satisfied for the moment. My body was exhausted and I knew I would be sore, very sore for the next few days.

  But I could already feel the hunger building up. There was so much more I needed to see, to feel, and to try. With him.

  I forced myself to get out of bed and dragged my shaken body in front of the mirror. As expected, I looked terrible.

  But I felt incredible. Light like a feather.

  Delicately dizzy.

  1

  The heart of Kabukicho is filled with love hotels, crammed closely together in small streets right next to the buzzing nightlife scene with bars and karaoke places.

  Just like any other hotel, they were of diverse size, varied quality, and displayed different prices. The main entrance doors were usually blocked behind a small wall and not visible from the street. To enter the hotel, one had to bypass this wall on either side. It was supposed to be discreet.

  Discretion was what these hotels were all about. In most of them, you would never see the face of any staff member and vice versa. You picked the room from a lit up display of pictures, pushed the button to select it and then proceeded to a screened counter to pay. The person behind it would ask you how long you wanted to rent the room and faceless hands would accept your payment through a small opening at the otherwise completely shielded counter. In my eyes, it was a very Japanese arrangement. Very convenient, efficient, and polite.

  This was the first time I had gone to one with a man I hardly knew.

  “Which one? You choose!” he declared while we were roaming the narrow streets. I nodded and headed to a nearby hotel that I had been to before. It was a nicer one, but not overly expensive.
And it was close.

  But he objected. “No. We can do better. ”

  He pulled me away and headed for a different hotel, an expensive one that I had never considered before. I could tell from its exterior that it was one of the most upper class hotels around.

  There were still three rooms lit up on the display in the hotel’s tiny lobby, which meant they were not occupied.

  “Choose,” he said again. “I’m paying, so you’ll do the choosing.”

  I stared at the screen, unable to make a decision. They were all so fancy, and completely overpriced. One had a sauna, another had a steam bath, one of them had an ugly couch, but I wasn’t too sure about the arrangements of the next…

  “Choose now or I’ll fuck you right here in the lobby,” the wolf hissed, pulling me close to him. Not wanting to test his patience any longer, I randomly picked the room that was closest to me.

  “Are you sure?” I asked when he was about to pay the ridiculous price. “It’s so expensive, I could—”

  “No,” he interrupted. “I will pay. And I will not hear anything like this from you again, is that clear?”

  I nodded. “Yes, sir.”

  Whatever he was doing for a living, he must be quite well off. The room we had chosen cost almost half a month of my apartment’s rent for one night. It was insane.

  We booked the room for the entire night, even though he mentioned that he would not be able to stay until morning. “But I don’t want to be in a hurry with you.”

  We had to take another elevator, but this time we were alone. As soon as the doors closed and we were confined in the tiny cabin that would take us to the fifth floor, he pushed me against the wall. I expected another greedy kiss, but instead he went for my neck and started sucking and biting on my skin. Hard. It hurt so much, I let out a moan of pain and tried to push him away, but he only bit harder.

  I had teary eyes when the door of the elevator finally opened—and a voice inside me that was screaming for more.

  He led the way to the room, but let me enter first. By this time I felt so dizzy with excitement, I couldn’t rule out the possibility of fainting as soon as we entered.

  But I didn’t. Instead I fell completely silent and calm. I wasn’t shaking or breathing heavily when he closed the door behind us. My entire body was tense in anticipation, but it didn’t show.

  Or so I thought.

  “You don’t have to be scared,” he said, standing closely behind me.

  I wanted to object that I wasn’t scared. But instead I silently slipped out of my shoes as he did the same. We left them in the genkan, the tiny entrance area that was part each of these rooms and most homes in Japan. There was a second door that led to the actual room. He squeezed past me and opened it.

  “Come in.”

  I followed like an obedient puppy. The room was small, but very nice. Music was playing in the background. The TV was switched on, asking us in colorful letters to choose between movie or adult entertainment. There was a small black leather couch to our left and a huge bed with clean white sheets across the room. The light was dimmed, creating a soft and romantic atmosphere.

  I looked at him in anticipation and noticed that he hadn’t paid any attention to the room, but was observing me yet again.

  “All you have to do now is obey. No decisions, no claims, just let me take the lead. Understand?”

  I nodded. And before I could realize my mistake, he sprang toward me, grabbed my hair, tilted my head back and sunk his teeth in my neck. Softer than he had in the elevator, but still enough to make me moan. I just didn’t know whether it was in pain or arousal…

  “I’m sorry! Yes, sir,” I said as I tried to atone for my mistake.

  “Don’t be sorry,” he whispered. “I enjoy punishing you, but you have to remember.”

  “Yes, sir,” I breathed.

  He took my bag out of my hands and put it aside on the floor, moving very slowly, with controlled movements. Then, he took off his jacket and placed it on a hanger next to the door. He wore all black: a black shirt, black pants, a black belt, and his red tie. I loved his height. He was a lot taller than me, which rarely happened since I am pretty tall myself. It made me feel weak, small, completely in his hands, and I loved the feeling.

  He sat down on the sofa, while I remained standing in front of it. My eyes followed him, awaiting instructions.

  He made himself comfortable with one arm on the backrest and looked up at me.

  “Undress,” he said with an implicitness that allowed no objections.

  I did as I was told and took off one item after the other, feeling more and more exposed with every piece of clothing that was landing on the floor. I was standing in the middle of nowhere, about three feet away from him. There was nothing to hold onto, nothing I could hide behind as my nakedness became more and more apparent. The entire time, his eyes were fixated on me, observing every single move and studying my body more intensely than anyone had ever done before.

  When I had stripped down to my underwear, I paused for a moment and looked at him.

  “Continue,” he demanded.

  I contemplated for a second whether to take off my bra or my thong first and decided for the bra. As soon as my breasts were exposed, a smile appeared on his face. I got ready to remove the last item of clothing, my black thong, one of my favorites, but he stopped me.

  “Hold on,” he said and got up from the sofa. “Let me look at you for a second.”

  He came closer and my heart was back at it, beating against my ribcage like a maniac. I felt so incredibly drawn to him, my entire body was ready to jump, to get as close as possible, tear off his clothes and finally discover what I expected to be an extraordinary delicious body beneath.

  He noticed my longing gaze, but held me at a distance when I made a step forward and lifted my arms to touch him. His hands reached for my wrists, gently pushing my arms back down, close to my almost completely naked body. Stroking my arms up and down, his hands wandered up to my shoulders. His fingers were just barely touching my skin when he brushed across my collarbones on both sides, slowly wandering down to my breasts. The tingling was almost unbearable.

  “You are so fucking delicious,” he whispered.

  I breathed heavily and had to put all my efforts into restraining myself and keeping still while he was analyzing my body with his fingers. He grabbed my breasts with a sudden, powerful move and squeezed them so hard, I let out a little shriek in surprise. He continued kneading them with a strong grip. It was painful, but so freaking hot. I couldn’t help myself but moan in despair.

  “Oh God, please…” I breathed.

  He laughed. “Please what?”

  That was a good question actually. Fuck me senseless, appeared to be an appropriate reply. But I didn’t dare to say it.

  He let go of my breasts just as suddenly as he had grabbed them.

  “So beautiful, so perfect,” he whispered as his hands wandered down to my hip. He reached for the thong and pulled it down without further ado, but not all the way. He stopped shortly above my knees.

  “Spread your legs,” he ordered. And I did.

  “More!” he snapped, and I hastily increased the gap between my legs, holding the thong up above my knees.

  He looked at me, his eyes flickering.

  “Yes, sir,” I hurried. Damn.

  “From now on, there will a spanking for each time you forget to reply,” he said. “Understand?”

  “Yes, sir,” I replied. I could feel the wetness between my legs and felt utterly ashamed.

  He went back to the couch and sat down.

  “Turn your back to me,” he ordered.

  I did, in awkwardly clumsy steps, as my legs were still spread holding up the thong above my knees.

  But no matter how exposed and ashamed I had felt until now, his next order made it even worse.

  “Bend over.”

  I hesitated. No, this was too much, I couldn’t…

  “Now!” he s
napped, and within seconds I complied. Breathing “Yes, sir,” I bent over in front of his eyes.

  “More!” he demanded, and I did.

  And then I just stood there, while he was looking at me in the most intimate position I could imagine. Observing. Not saying a word for what felt like an eternity.

  Of course, he found a way to make it worse.

  “Spread your ass cheeks for me,” he demanded in his ever-so-calm and deep voice. “Let me see what is mine.”

  The humiliation I felt was inexplicable when I reached back and grabbed my ass cheeks with both hands, spreading them apart while he was gazing at me.

  I had never felt this ashamed. I felt the urge to cry, to beg him to stop this. But I didn’t beg—I didn’t truly want to stop doing whatever he expected me to do.

  I heard him getting up behind me and coming closer. At this moment I was actually grateful that he couldn’t see my face. My long hair was falling down on both sides of my face, comfortably shielding my view.

  Suddenly, I could feel his hand on my back. He was standing next to me on my left side and bent down to talk to me, while his hand was wandering down my spine.

  “Okay, put your hands down,” he ordered.

  “Yes, sir,” I whispered and followed his order.

  “Very good girl,” he whispered. “Your body is divine. You’re such a good girl for showing it to me. I think you deserve a little reward for behaving so well, don’t you?”

  I gulped and nodded silently. Of course, that was not the reply he wanted to hear. His hand lunged back and came down on my left ass cheek so hard, I let out a small squeak of pain and surprise. Fuck, it hurt.

  “Now, that was disappointing,” he said. “I asked you a question, didn’t I?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “It’ll hurt more the next time you forget to reply,” he warned. “Do you understand?”

  “Yes, sir. I understand.”

  He gently stroked my behind that was still burning from the spanking I had just received. Just a single stroke had hurt so bad, I started to fear what was to come.

  But he didn’t give me much time to ponder and fear, as his hand was abruptly sliding between my legs. He hummed in approval.